I talked to a dear friend after she had her first baby. She was in the throes of early motherhood fog and she sounded tired and confused and frankly a little bit offended: “I just had this Disney-movie vision of what it would be…with bluebirds singing on the windowsill and me in a pretty white robe with clean hair and brushed teeth lovingly rocking my angelic baby.”
Right.
Every night, Andy and I would PROMISE to let Caroline learn to fall back asleep. No more middle of the night bottles in her crib, because according to the doctor that was setting a Very Bad Precedent and she would have Ear Infections For Eternity and her future teeth, which I didn’t even really believe were in her tiny but very loud mouth, were going to be Permanently Affected.
Then every night, in an exhausted stupor, we would give her a bottle and she would go back to sleep. We were like drug addicts swearing to each other that after this one last hit, we’d quit.
Right.
Andy (the dealer) and CC (the addict)
A colleague of mine recently launched a new venture: Love Sleep Thrive Sleep Consulting. Let’s be honest, she’s basically saving lives here. When you are dealing with babies who don’t sleep you spend the bulk of that “middle of the night free time” planning your own demise. And hating your spouse. And cleaning out your linen closet while an infant is strapped to you. And you question why you had children in the first place, how celebrities lose 48 pounds of postpartum weight in six days and why nobody in your house knows how to properly fold a towel. Or all of that stuff in whatever order.
So, if you need professional help designing your nursery, call us. We LOVE baby clients because they have very good taste and they (literally) drool when we show them their sweet little space. On the flip side, if you have a baby who won’t sleep, please do not call us. Call Love Sleep Thrive Sleep Consulting; besides hiring a top notch designer (ahem) to create a gorgeous nursery like any of the ones below, Love Sleep Thrive Sleep Consulting is just about the nicest new baby gift you can give to a new mother. And her family. And maybe even her neighbors. Because unhappy babies are loud babies.
For the record, Caroline has gorgeous teeth and currently zero ear infections and I’m guessing very strong bones … but I’m not a doctor.
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